| 文笔流畅,生动。一个活泼,玩皮聪明的小姑娘跃然纸上!如果小孩之间的对话用小孩的语言和口气,会更好一些。另有一错字可能是笔误:“...不易吃糖,”应为不宜吃糖。 |
| 绿筱媚清涟 | 441 | 11-24 09:16 | ||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 小丫头聪明呵[2楼] | 长风起兮 | 49 | 11-01 13:51 | |
| 童年回忆[3楼] | 花之心动 | 53 | 11-01 15:37 | |
| 仿佛回到了童年 [4楼] | 125.70.229.* | 47 | 11-01 16:40 | |
| 仿佛回到了童年 [5楼] | 125.70.229.* | 51 | 11-01 16:40 | |
| 回复:吃糖是件奢侈的事[6楼] | 长河拾尘 | 99 | 11-01 17:59 | |
| 莞尔一笑[7楼] | dream_梦儿 | 40 | 11-01 18:05 | |
| 呵呵,梦儿快乐[8楼] | 绿筱媚清涟 | 60 | 11-01 19:50 | |
| 长河好。[9楼] | 绿筱媚清涟 | 50 | 11-01 19:51 | |
| 回复:长风好[10楼] | 绿筱媚清涟 | 50 | 11-01 19:53 | |
| 回复:花之心动快乐[11楼] | 绿筱媚清涟 | 66 | 11-01 19:54 | |
| 怪不得这么会做饭,原来从小就会吃!!!!!呵呵呵 [12楼] | 122.89.152.* | 51 | 11-01 22:42 | |
| 61.190.121.* | 72 | 11-02 16:30 | ||
| 122.0.77.* | 67 | 11-04 17:41 | ||
| 写的很生动,把我带入到了当时的场景。[15楼] | 梅林雅筑 | 44 | 11-05 00:38 | |
| 121.28.161.* | 49 | 11-05 10:46 | ||
| 继续努力,我看好你![17楼] | 葡萄架下 | 70 | 11-05 10:54 | |
| 222.215.8.* | 45 | 11-06 01:34 | ||
| 222.215.8.* | 101 | 11-06 01:34 | ||
| 222.215.8.* | 57 | 11-06 01:40 | ||
| 221.237.56.* | 53 | 11-08 14:52 | ||
| 童年趣事,真情回味,可爱\可信\可恋...... [22楼] | jzdjdcw | 57 | 11-08 15:08 | |
| 聪明的小丫头片子,呵呵!! [23楼] | jzdjdcw | 47 | 11-08 15:16 | |
| 儿时的趣事,帮我们 一起[24楼] | 智者1 | 47 | 11-08 16:43 | |
| 回复:[25楼] | 222.212.52.* | 75 | 11-24 09:16 | |