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Play? or anything he said?
Never supposed he talked with me so long tonight. He talked so much which make me believe again he is really that kind of man. Yes, he is a serious businessman who want a woman bearing a baby for him, who will not get involved with his business. But what I want is equal. I couldn't bear him put the punishment to his ex-wife to me. Love me with total love and soul, or to leave. That's my choice. That's also why I ask for his card or passport which made his last determination of leaving. He do care much about me otherwise he wouldn't stay for so long with his hurt eyes. But he do insist his doing so much which I couldn't accept at all. I will not betray my heart any time again. I won't love him just because he is rich. And this time, I found that I really don't care about money so much. For what I'm pain for is that his accompany was so nice and peaceful, but I can never get our souls together for different way of thinking, for financial reasons, actually I suppose the main reason is for his bad experience before. That's why Manager LI always told me not to find a man divorced to love. I understand so much now. Too much experiecne, so too much keep in distance. He gave me the choices, to love him without questions or leave. I gave him mine, to show something or go. I didn't give up my heart at the last time. He goes, so let him go. I'm here living with my own heart where God lives. God bless him. It's good to have this final talk, I can at least make sure that he is not a liar.I can finally understand him a bit at last. And I found now why I'm so sure about his words before.Thinking sometimes could ruin something too. It can bring things real into unreal, and then mix-up the two. I should remember there must be some reason for me to believe or not even I don't know that since I'm suspect in nature. He means as seriously as he said. Just bad tempered and stubborned on his mind. This time, I found that I'm not really so obedient even in front of a real powered man. That's my nature. I will not submit myself to anyone even he is a real king. That's a bit different from my imagination. What kind of woman I want to be? I have such a wonderful chance to be that kind of happy woman who need only to submit to her husband. Why I give up? I'm proud I'm clever, but also felt stupid to be a too-clever woman. I hate to that but I can't help. And I'm really stupid in acting myself~! Better to find out first what man I am looking for. There is no much time to waste. I'd better to think it over. Let's see. Yes, I got offline first today. But felt so hurt in my heart. Let's see how God will guide us. God bless all of us~! |


