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什么是婚姻 作者/少波先生> |
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婚姻是个短句。有人说，婚姻是爱情的坟墓。也有人说，婚姻是人生的悲剧。婚姻也是个长句。有人说，爱是一个长而甜蜜的梦，而婚姻就是一个闹钟。也有人说，婚姻要求一个男人准备四种类型的戒指：订婚戒、婚礼戒、受苦戒、忍耐戒。
在我看来，婚姻既不是个短句，也不是个长句，婚姻是一部内容颇丰的厚书。上面的短句长句都给婚姻下了否定的定义，把婚姻与爱情对立起来，把婚姻与美好的生活对立起来。其实，在大多数情况下，婚姻都是美好的。尤其是我们这些50出头的人，更觉得婚姻这本厚书应该记载一家人的喜怒哀乐和悲欢离合，更应该记载一家人的幸福美满和健康长寿。婚姻是幸福的添加剂，它使幸福的人们更加幸福。婚姻是困难的溶解剂，再难的事也难不倒坚贞的夫妇。婚姻是感情的粘合剂，岁月越久感情就越深。婚姻是生活的调节剂，没有幸福的婚姻，哪有生活的乐趣！
我和我的哥哥以及我太太家五姊妹的家庭婚姻都是美满的。之所以美满，我觉得是我们的前辈给我们做了榜样，他们对婚姻的坚贞不渝使我们更加珍爱这来之不易的婚姻。在没有生活波折的时候，婚姻也许是牢固的。遇到了波折甚至灾难，婚姻就开始受到考验了。我的岳父母相亲相爱了一辈子，50金婚的时候我们为他们隆重地庆祝了一番。谁知孩子都拉扯大了，生活越来越好了，岳父却患上了脑萎缩症（老年痴呆症），生活不能自理。四年前，岳父母搬到了老年公寓住，因为岳父已经不能说话和走路了在家里实在照顾不了了。从此，岳母就成了岳父的专职服务员，吃、喝、拉、撒、睡，样样都离不开岳母的悉心照顾和呵护。一开始，岳父还能坐轮椅，岳母就每天推着他出去晒太阳，活动腿脚。后来病越来越重，只能躺在床上了，岳母还是照样为他在床上按摩活动腿脚，帮他恢复肌肉功能。老年公寓的人都说，如果没有岳母，我岳父早就不在了。去年2月，岳父病危，我们为老人准备了后事。可能是好人命长的缘故吧，岳父竟在阎王爷家门口溜了个圈儿，又活了过来。可是这以后，岳父再不能自己吃饭了，需要别人喂他流质食物。这可累坏了岳母，每顿都要做不同的饭，把蔬菜先在粉碎机里打成浆，然后和上米饭、馒头给他喂。岳母还非常注意营养搭配，海参、鲜虾不断变换品种。逐渐的，岳父的脸色好看了，红扑扑的又白又嫩，象个小青年儿。最累岳母的是岳父的大小便。岳父的大小便完全没有知觉，全靠岳母凭直觉处理，经常是“打屎仗”弄的一塌糊涂。有时大便结干还要用手去抠，真不容易！岳母还按时给岳父加点儿精神食粮，每天给岳父读报。我说他能听懂吗？岳母说能，你看他眼睛不在眨吗？
岳父岳母的美满婚姻的真挚爱情的写照，是美丽夕阳的一道光彩的晚霞。这样完美的婚姻用短句和长句都装不下的，它要用厚厚的一本书来写。
今天的日记我翻译成了英语，与喜欢英语的朋友交流。
What is a marriage?
A marriage is a short sentence. Somebody said that “a marriage is the tomb of love” and another said that “a marriage is the tragedy of life”. A marriage is a long sentence. Somebody said that “love is a dream which is long and sweet but a marriage is a alarm clock which is always breaking the dream”. Another said that “a marriage asks a man to prepare four kinds of rings, engaged ring, wedding ring, suffering ring and bearing ring.”
A marriage is not a short sentence or a long one as I see. A marriage is a thick book which contains many contents. The short sentences or the long ones above give a negative definition which sets a marriage and love, sets a marriage and a good live against. In fact, a marriage is fine in most of the cases. Especially persons who in their fifties just like us think that the book should be written a family’s comedy and tragedy, happiness and healthiness. A marriage is the additive of love which makes persons happier. A marriage is the solvent of difficulty which makes a couple strong. A marriage is the binder of feeling which makes feelings deeper. A marriage is the regulator of life which makes lives more perfectly.
The marriages of me and my brother, my wife’s family are very perfect because our elders have done good examples for us. They teach us how to treasure the perfect marriages. A marriage is firm when life is flat, but it may be opposite when difficulty even disaster comes. My parents-in-law have loved each other devotedly for many years, and have past their golden wedding which we celebrated grandly. Their children have grew up and the life has been better and better when my father-in-law suffered from encephalatrophy and couldn’t take care himself. So my parents-in-law moved to the aged flats in where they can get good care because my father-in-law couldn’t speak and walk then. From that time my mother-in-law became the servant who cares my father-in-low’s all lives. At first my father-in-low could do something in a wheelchair and my mother-in-law took the wheelchair under sunshine for reason of moving my father-in-law’s arms and legs. Afterwards his disease came worse and couldn’t be in the wheelchair, my mother-in-law also did so to help him resume muscle function. Everyone there said that my father-in-law would die without my mother-in-law’s care. Last February my father-in-law was critically ill when we had made arrangements for his funeral. Maybe good man should get good pay, my father-in-law recovered miraculously. But since he came back home he couldn’t eat anything except liquid food. So my mother-in-law have to make all vegetable broken and fed him with food. She paid attention to the nutrition distribution, often changed the food such as sea cucumbers, shrimps etc. Gradually my father-in-law became healthy just like a younger. The most heavy thing for my mother-in-law to do was caring my father-in-law’s defecation because he had no consciousness at all! Sometimes my mother-in-law have to help him to get bowel movement with her hands. In order to give my father-in-law some nourishment for the mind, my mother-in-law often read papers to him. I wonder if he understood, my mother-in-law said “don’t you see your father blinked his eyes just now? ”
My parents-in-law have a perfect marriage which stands for a deep love and a very beautiful sunset glow. These kind of marriage can not be write in one sentence which should write in a big book!
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