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Dear Yinger: I don't know what's wrong with me.I just can't feel comfortbale.I can't calm down, fix my attention on study ,and be happy.Maybe you are right,I am a little worried that she may get angry.But I don't know whether I am wrong. And you are so good to me that I almost don't know what to do. I 've no idea who I love now, I even don't want to love. I hate, and don't know what I should do. I even want to die, though I don't want to die.Every day I come back to the dorm,stay in my room,or go to others'.They all play games,chat,or view website.I don't know what I can do, so I watch them playing,and have a try when they take a break,even though I known in fact I do not want to.I want to stay awake,with high spirit,and healthy body.But I just feel sleepy every day,and can't open my eyes,no matter I go to bed early or late. I think I've lost my dream. When I was very yougn,almost before I went to school,I dreamed to get into the best college in our country. I tried all the time, did my best.I never felt tired.And at last I succeded. But now I don't known what's my dream and I lose my way. It seems that I need to should find somewhere I belong, and somebody I love. But I just couldn't find them. I don't want to compete for honor,for better status,for more comfortable living condition in the future any more.I want to do something unique,that no one else will do and can't do.But I don't know what it is and whether I can finish it. And my sister is going to attend college ,too.I don't know whether my parents can get enough money. Here I almost lead a luxury life,but I still complain that I don't have the same condition as my classmates. Now if someone is good to me,I will feel guilt.And if someone is bad to me, I Will hate. Whatever,I just couldn't be happy.I know it's very important time now. I will try my best to get back my feeling,or in other words,find my soul. Any way,thank you very much,really,from the bottom of my heart. Its really nice to meet you. Thank the god.He blessed me. A period from now on,whether I am well or not ,I want to be quiet.I won't play games , surf the net and make long time phones any more. Never phone me untill you get to your new school and get everything ready,OK? I think I will miss you, and so will you, isn't it? I will be OK,really. Believe me.Please be happy.In fact it's wonderful. I hope you can enjoy your time. By the way,I know you are good at making friends.But please do be careful,not every one is good person. And don't play games with strangers.It's dangeous.OK, I think I'd finish my letter now.It's a little bit long.Hope you won't bore. Best Wishes! your dear xixi ※※※※※※ 原来可以这样幸福地活着.18岁,可以戴上他的戒指了. |